Of Slow Food and Straws

Aaaaalright! SO! Not that I actually have all that much to say about today. School sucked, as usual. But whatever. That doesn't matter. I had fun after school!
So pretty much right as the bell rang for school to get out, I got a text. From a surprising sender. My best friend Wyatt's mom texted me. WHAT THE RANDOM!? Haha No worries. It all made sense. See, she wanted me to come over and do Weston's (One of Wyatt's little brothers) zombie pirate makeup. So I told her I would and I got one of my other best friends Neesha to run me over to their house to do it. (Thanks Dilee for letting me use your makeup... Just by the way.) His mom told me I was a "superstar" in their house. SWEET! I have no idea why, but whatever makes them happy! Emma was saying some pretty... uhh.. interesting? things about me and other people. Haha She's so cute. Anyways. So I did Weston and Emma's makeup, and then I went home, changed, and went to work. Now there is where the fun starts happening. 
It was a reeeeaallllllly slow night. For some reason, people seem to shun fast food on Tuesdays. So pretty much the entire time, Nate, Becca and I were teasing each other all night. We kept doing stuff like kicking the back of our knees out or putting ice down each others backs. You know, the usual stuff friends do. And Nate said I was on "his side" and Becca said I was on "her side". Psh. Whatever. I'm too cool for picking sides. But then, Nate's sister brought us all Roxberries for no reason. :) I was on his side from there on out. 
"YOU GET BABY STRAWS WITH BABY ROXBERRIES!"
But practically the entire time was just us goofing around. ... I hope none of my managers EVER see this. . . Eh, who'm I kiddin. So anyway! We all just kept heading back to the break room and talking. And still getting work done, might I add. I think we had a total of like 70 customers in the 4 and a half hours I was there for. It was pretty great, not gonna lie. OH! And the best part is, I won 5 bucks. :P
The other best part is, I walked back to the break room and Nate and Becca were standing there. This was our conversation. 
"Havin a little make out session?"
". . . I need a straw."

The Finer Things In Life

    The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.

       You know something? There is one feeling that I have that is the greatest feeling ever. That feeling is not happiness, it's not excitement, and it isn't even love necessarily. It's safety. And there are only two places I have ever felt truly safe. In the presence of my mother, and in his arms.

       There is one person that I have always loved. From the moment I met them to this very day. Maybe not in the sense that I think we should get married or anything, but in the sense that I just love him. He is the one person who has always been there. Even when he wasn't, I knew he cared. And. . . I know I should just give up on him already because there is no way he could feel the way I do about him. But I can't. 

         When you love someone, no matter what context, that love never really goes away. You can get mad at someone, but if the love is really there, you will always come back to each other. And that's how I know he loves me. He has given me countless second chances, and even though I can't really see what it was that I ever did.. He still took me back. Whether it was because I needed him, he needed me, or just because. We could never really be separated. Do you understand? 

        This one person has had such an impact on my life. And about that safety thing. In his arms... his embrace... even his smell. I feel.. Like all of the pain and sadness from the world is gone. Like nothing can hurt me. Like there is no piece of badness or destruction in all of creation that could ever get to me. But the moment he lets go or walks away, everything comes flooding back. And safety, that kind of love that someone can give and show you is not something that just happens all the time. In fact, it probably wont ever come more than once.

         I don't know if you have ever felt that before.. But I have. And there is nothing more comforting than knowing that there is someone who is always close by to save you from the world.

Getting a good kick in the pants to keep you on track is something that your friends might not have the guts to give you. But he does. He doesn't care what the consequence is. If you need it, he'll give it to you. I've gotten them more often then I probably should.

           Looking into his blue eyes, I see him. For who he is, and not what the world sees of him. I can see his pain and his proudest moments. Secrets he has confided in me, and things he never thought he would ever tell me. A week after we met, I knew him better than I knew myself. Now though... I feel like we've lost that. And that scares me. Thinking that he doesn't trust me or he doesn't feel it important to take the time to talk to me. Maybe walks at midnight and endless hours on the phone or just talking aren't necessary anymore, but little things here and there wouldn't be bad. You know? 

                              I miss him.

                              I miss you.

        Please. Know how I feel. And know that nothing will ever change the love I have for you. 

                                  Ever.

It's Not Kosher

Okay! So I know I haven't written anything in a long time, but I guess that doesn't matter all that much since there is a total of like 1 person who actually reads-or at least skims- my blog. But whatever. It's less for others to read, and more for me to vent or just say whatever. Blogs are great places to talk about people where they have no clue it's them! Especially when they don't read your blog anyway. So! Back to what is NOT kosher.

Alright, so there's this girl I know, right? She's pretty awesome. We went to Starbucks tonight and talked and did stuff. It was pretty much awesome. 

There's also this guy who has been... uh.. bothering this pretty awesome... ly cool friend of mine. And that one guy is just... not cool. Okay? You get me? Or what I'm saying? Cause I don't. But it's rare that I do. SO! I'm not actually talking about anything and I'm just rambling. So I will go away now. But I will be writing something else in a few minutes. That I KNOW something about. Cause life is not really one of those things.

.... Kbye